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Phantasm

by Radflux

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  • Streaming + Download

    Purchasable with gift card

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a hand-made gatefold case, with booklet and painted CD. Hand numbered out of 30!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Phantasm via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 30 

      $3 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Limited Edition Homemade Cassette with 5-Panel J-Card, Insert, and a 2" Radflux Sticker. Also comes with a 5" art booklet. Available on Black and White Tapes. Only 10 made!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Phantasm via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 10 

      $4 USD or more 

     

1.
Earthready 03:32
you still believe in something pure and i'm still looking for a cure we'd be better off inside our own minds but i just wanted to make sure to close my eyes would be a feat to slip to slumber i'd retreat because i'm a wreck with all these wrecking balls of memories i just wanted to be complete i hope you realize you're wrong cause every night is so so long and if you see the space between my eyes you'll probably think i've already gone but i am here though not to stay in this nest of nails i lay i can't wake up but i never went to sleep i need to find some place to pray
2.
Torch Song 04:58
where did your bright eyes go? when you were craving something peaceful and did you know that you were holding the earth in place in space? oh God, save us now, what a mess i've made can i feel everything outside my mind? can i create a world whose nature is undefined? you are not breathing you are still you are not moving on your own it's like a sovereign sleeping pill it shapes a life into a drone in the winter it snowed but all the snowflakes looked the same and in her face it glows that embryo was swelling to the size of my fists that beat into the door i improvise can i feel everything outside my mind? can i create a world whose nature is undefined? you are not breathing you are still you are not moving on your own it's like a sovereign sleeping pill it shapes a life into a drone
3.
Static Sin 02:57
i saw ghosts in the garden when i visit there heard my blood as it races to conceal my prayer and i wait for God scratch the roof of my mouth as i scream "eloheim" hear the language of enemies coming out my mouth and i wait for God buy my prayers only reached pluto and I'm not afraid to die our steps in line are so off course but marching to a steady beat of foreign tunes and age-old hymns that force parades on heavy feet i can't ignore all the signs if they scream to me in origami swans and things that flap their wings to show me that their life is free but i am enslaved to loss don't make me carry this cross
4.
get into the van right away i'd like to drive into the ocean and i'd like to clip off my wings and slide them through the windows of our house if you want to see inside my head you won't find sleep, you'll wish you were dead and i just want to peer into your eyes and watch your blood pump bird beaks down your spine (pluck my feathers for me darling, pluck my feathers for me dear that smothered pain you felt is dying, that clutching grip you felt was fear along some lake i felt you shiver, and in some house i helped you cry and if you are some caregiver, why didn't you let us die? why do you want to hurt us? speak so softly to the sky is it time you desert us? all you sick ravens fly) i don't know where i am, i just know that i'm happy rip my skin i am cold, garnish flesh with feathers the birds that used to sing hymns, now sing dirges alone hold your breath we embrace, stratosphere of our own our phantograph will play our little songs will cut in deep rip out with tongs my nest is made of old rusty nails want to give up now and lay down on the rails
5.
Exodus 03:38
though i tried to fail you burnt off the veil with the life you feed it's only part of a dream though i try to pretend it's nothing but relief exodus to dust and you left like a thief now i'm not afraid to call on you you calm my dreams, let me sleep, feel nothing if you reach the promos land without a golden calf let him breathe, i'll break like a stone to your staff when you were young you held the knowledge of truth but you chose to wait it out and swallowed your youth now you lead israel from your womb they weren't mine, weren't owned, led by sun try to believe in something different, try to believe in something different try to believe in something different, try to believe in something different try to believe in something different, try to believe in something different try to believe in something different, try to believe in something different
6.
Comfy 04:27
you crossed your fingers as you sat i know i'm sad but thank you for that i'm comfortable now in my fears i haven't felt this way in years thoughts of things i'll never do but dream of every night without you that fire burning in my throat and i loved every word you wrote but now eyes cut closed and vision far away and though it seems, i shouldn't be comfy anymore and now i see you on your sweet little pumpkin pedestal and i know it's only for a minute now and if i tried to understand inside the ways that made you comfier than now well i'd be lost and i would not be found again and though it's sick you feel it to how the incision puts you though the smiling weapon that i know it seems like oh, so long ago sitting still i will recall the ways which once were comfortable a broken table built for two this hollow body i slipped into sorrow, it only holds the weight of snow, we are comfortable you're comfortable, you're comfortable it only shows which way we go you're comfortable inside of me now the only way to show you're comfortable is inside of me now
7.
Phantasm 05:11
you expect a word from me but i was not sleeping i heard every sound that you whispered so carefully humming in vibrant winds, exports my soul again the heat of our palms in the mirror we're staring in collides with a sunken dream of loneliness and misery and i could not tell if you were unhappy what you've explained to me i could never dare to dream it seems like the universe is up on a balance beam who can tell me right from wrong? and what if i just play along? as if i never saw the messenger i'm counting on writing down the words he said in notebooks so i won't forget and i will never ask for the meaning of life again our ideas have never been so far from true I'm telling you, my love, to change your point of view we were so off course this time hello myself, are you ready to climb? we were not better off before we were not better off before you saw me sitting there alone in that wooden chair my eyes fixed intently on the godsend that was in midair and as i focused my eyes, the room began to come alive the whole world was pumping with my blood so i must survive long enough to take my place, those averages we all embrace the sweating and the tears and the joys of the human race you've got a heart in you, and now it always beats as two but i could never love two heartbeats, its too much to do so whose story can i tell when my lifeblood says farewell? when all of my dreams are at the bottom of a wishing well i just pray that i can wake or fluctuate what state i take when every step is backwards and every move i must remake here in this trap i'll stand, the remnants of a broken man the burning of my eyes from the turning of the ceiling fan our mouths are coerced in song and all the planets glide along will they ever stop if we get to where we belong? leaving it all to fate, the beauty we must create compose our finale and finally circumnavigate the void of where we once did wrong, now it hums our victory song we've reached our own perfection and now everything is gone
8.
[statement] 02:36
your tin pan eyes your fragrant winds your stale grey skies my common sense i don't even wanna see it, i don't even wanna feel anything unless my veins are full of enlightenment i don't even wanna see it, i don't even wanna feel anything "the sound of creation; the creation of sound" your oxygen, your oxygen lacking only a savior "the sound of creation; the creation of sound"
9.
Moonchild 06:35
elevated higher than the secrets you demand or should i write a novel just to make you understand? (hold my hand) do i walk through walls? do i plant the seeds real good inside? and should i even be nervous that i love my state of mind? (hyperaware) i can feel the knife in me as it slices through my lung is this abuse i'm feeling now or the love of my only son? now you sleep underground curled up like a fetus take comfort in knowing that the world is opaque when you find your mistake let heaven know slowly the rules are bent and shaped around people like you let me stitch your birthing scars let me rest your aching limbs until my brain is a drone of the thieves you're trusting in (static sin) sing his lullabies my dear but my thoughts are so obscene and should i read your palms or drench myself in gasoline? (set me free) never speaking not even opening his eyes lived for nothing died for all the people i despise there are fingers wrapped up in your mouth and in your heartbeat your lungs pulse so coarsely and your breath is screeching in your chamomile smile, there's the land of milk and honey if you only could stay awake to see the sun rise dry your eyes son, you are free now, you are free here and now don't waste the moonchild, you don't deserve this, you don't deserve hell
10.
waking up in a hospital bed at night feeling like i set my body on fire and i tried so hard to make it sound like heaven no, this is not life, no this isn't statement but euphoria euphoria euphoria this is not euphoria and if you want tot pluck your feathers dear then get into the van because i'm counting something visible to you it might be physical but i don't understand and if you need a reason to exist then look straight through my disguise cause i found all the parts of heaven in our tongues and then i watched it as it died and if i cared enough to speak i'd ask which cloud made me so weak with miscarriage, and empty home, and the son of God at the end of the phone what is real? whose womb am i tearing apart from the inside? stained-glass eyes i saw your face among the memories i had erased and if i lay here with my thoughts alone, do you think i'll disappear? because i've woken to a nightmare from a nightmare that i found while i was here and if you need a reason to exist then look straight through my disguise cause i found all the parts of heaven in our tongues and then i watched it as it died
11.
and you go on again that canary was you but you can't fly and you're not a liar but you're cold and you need rest it took wires to build your nest with a knife you feel free but your stomach feels empty let me rattle your mind not like the succubus my NAAMAH and i know you're not a liar but you're cold like one and you are undone my dear and you think that i'm insane but i feel the scars on my brain (you are fire, you are cold you are liquid, you are stone you are moving, you are still you are empty, you i fill you are grounded, you are flying you are happy, you are crying) and i saw you in my dream, you were moses stone in that place where you took him, but now he's gone there is etched on my skin, the mark of omens though i woke up from that dream, i can still feel pain and i'm not afraid for the first time in my life but i feel pain even if it's in my mind that doesn't matter it still rains all my bones are covered in stains i hate these memories i spin but none of it ever happened
12.
Flame Canvas 11:56
to realize the ways that we failed i watched your beak as you exhaled silvery and lining my body these stupid limbs hang by my side a flame engulfs this naked sky and though it chokes it never dies a wooden pier caught my eye this phantom limb a silent cry you watched me die the moths flew in, flew out with flame again i think i've seen their faces in a book that i read when i was young you were so out of line, freaking out, illuminating look at me now through that lens, i'm hollow every grave looks the same, what's the point? you are radiant incandescent lightning bulbs angel pyros and i'm about ready to acquire this providence ablaze and in our father's rooms, we sit and wait for death no secrets angels kept, we kept ourselves from being lovers (mothers) and even in a dream our voices echoing sweet baby choir sings, a hymn a dirge so dark it twists me so in the dark we shared our parts but what a wicked change of heart decisions faced are all but made though time is short i'm not afraid let me kiss your tiny fingers they rub my lips to say goodbye on this pier i stroke free will forget to breathe and i stand still troubles fade into us, i was so wrapped up i couldn't even lift my arms to sound off the alarms but in this faded will, i cursed death, i laughed hard, i fell still and i'm not sure if i even stopped short of a life without remorse but i will return one day as a ghost or a portion of a man and though smoke stacks it may not seem true, you'll see i am not who i claim to be contemplating all these signs, my life and dreams combine you came to me with all those faults, i wasn't sure where to start and i know it's so so hard, it's everything that you knew but in the time we shared, i never questioned you you know those ancient books i read were all wrong, dead wrong

about

Phantasm was written and recorded by Aaron Denny in his living room in the Summer of 2013 (mostly)

credits

released August 30, 2013

______________________________________________________

Thank you kindly to Leah Crawford (that's my sister!) for providing vocals for "Plucking Feathers" and "Scars (Bird Bones)" and to Chris Ledbury for playing drums on "Torch Song". Thank you also to Tyler Hinnefeld for all of the artwork she did for the "Moonchild" single and also for the inside sleeve and booklet for "Phantasm" it looks great! And of course, as always, thank you to all of the Young Frogs!

Contact: aaron.r.denny@gmail.com
Thanks For Listening!
© 2013 Young Frogs

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